Thursday, May 15, 2008

Motherhood

I found this poem on a blog that I follow and I thought that it was so great. Most of the time I just feel like I am doing what anyone else does. We do what we have to do because we don't have any choice in the matter. We take each day at a time and deal with whatever that day brings. I know that my life often seems so surreal to me and I often think "is this really my life?'' But I guess the truth of the matter is that, we are asked to do things for our children that we never imagined we would have to do. I am learning the true nature of sacrifice as I journey through motherhood. Sometimes things seem to be harder than I possibly think that I can handle, but in the end, the blessings far out way the hardships.

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY: Mothers Lie
By Lori Borgman

Expectant mothers waiting for a newborn’s arrival say they don’t care what sex the baby is. They just want it to have ten fingers and ten toes.

Mothers lie.

Every mother wants so much more.

She wants a perfectly healthy baby with a round head, rosebud lips, button nose, beautiful eyes and satin skin.

She wants a baby so gorgeous that people will pity the Gerber baby for being flat-out ugly.

She wants a baby that will roll over, sit up and take those first steps right on schedule (according to the baby development chart on page 57, column two).

Every mother wants a baby that can see, hear, run, jump and fire neurons by the billions.

She wants a kid that can smack the ball out of the park and do toe points that are the envy of the entire ballet class.

Call it greed if you want, but a mother wants what a mother wants.

Some mothers get babies with something more.

Maybe you’re one who got a baby with a condition you couldn’t pronounce, a spine that didn’t fuse, a missing chromosome or a palate that didn’t close.

The doctor’s words took your breath away.

It was just like the time at recess in the fourth grade when you didn’t see the kick ball coming, and it knocked the wind right out of you.

Some of you left the hospital with a healthy bundle, then, months, even years later, took him in for a routine visit, or scheduled him for a checkup, and crashed head first into a brick wall as you bore the brunt of devastating news.

It didn’t seem possible.

That didn’t run in your family.

Could this really be happening in your lifetime?

There’s no such thing as a perfect body. Everybody will bear something at some time or another.

Maybe the affliction will be apparent to curious eyes, or maybe it will be unseen, quietly treated with trips to the doctor, therapy or surgery.

Mothers of children with disabilities live the limitations with them.

Frankly, I don’t know how you do it. Sometimes you mothers scare me.

How you lift that kid in and out of the wheelchair twenty times a day. How you monitor tests, track medications, and serve as the gate keeper to a hundred specialists yammering in your ear.

I wonder how you endure the clichés and the platitudes, the well-intentioned souls explaining how God is at work when you’ve occasionally questioned if God is on strike.

I even wonder how you endure schmaltzy columns like this one-saluting you, painting you as hero and saint, when you know you’re ordinary.

You snap, you bark, you bite.

You didn’t volunteer for this, you didn’t jump up and down in the motherhood line yelling, “Choose me, God. Choose me! I’ve got what it takes.”

You’re a woman who doesn’t have time to step back and put things in perspective, so let me do it for you. From where I sit, you’re way ahead of the pack.

You’ve developed the strength of the draft horse while holding onto the delicacy of a daffodil.

You have a heart that melts like chocolate in a glove box in July, counter-balanced against the stubbornness of an Ozark mule.

You are the mother, advocate and protector of a child with a disability.

You’re a neighbor, a friend, a woman I pass at church and my sister-in-law.

You’re a wonder.

3 comments:

Anna said...

Becca, you are truly an amazing woman. I loved the poem. I'm going to send a copy to a friend of mine who has a son with some challenges of his own. She's amazing too. It's just a testament to me that we all have our own "opportunities for growth," whether others see them or not.

And yes, we've GOT to get together sometime...SOON! Love you!

likeschocolate said...

What a wonderful poem!!! I am glad that Jarod is doing so well. I can completely understand how you feel about drowning sometimes. It can be overwhelming. That is when I say a little prayer and just do my best. I guess that is all any of us can do. Sometimes, I go to bed with house a mess and try to remember in the end awards are not given for the cleanest house but happy children

likeschocolate said...

Wow! What a great poem. It is good to hear that your son is doing so well. I can understand how you feel on drowning. That is when I say a little prayer and just try to do my best. I guess that is all we can ever really do. Sometimes, I go to bed with the house a mess, and this is when I really have to say a prayer because I am a neat freak. However, awards are not given for the cleanest house, but how happy the children are.