Sweet Baby Colin

On August 23 my little sister's 10 week old baby passed away during his nap from SIDS.  Oh how my heart has ached for Erika and her husband, Jeremy.  I want to take all of the pain and sorrow away for them.  I want to just make it all go away, but I can't.

This is the second baby my family has lost in less than a year.  My brother Tyler and his wife, Krista lost a baby in November at just 5 days old.  Sometimes you just wonder why?  Why did this have to happen again?  My sister Rachel, and I decided while we were at the funeral that this totally stinks.  We are not going to have another family reunion at a funeral.  We have done our time and we are good now.  How nice if we could just decide that and then nothing hard would ever come again!

I was never able to hold sweet baby Colin alive.  Erika lives far away in Wisconsin and I hadn't even met my sweet nephew in person.  How grateful I was to be able to at least hold him before we said our final goodbyes.  Such a sweet, innocent baby.  So beautiful and perfect.  An angel.  I just wished that I could awake that sweet, sleeping baby from his slumber and feel the warmth of his skin.  So hard, so sad, and yet such hope and faith that we will see  him again.

I couldn't help but think that it should have been one of my children that was gone.  Mine have had the medical issues that could have easily taken them and could take them. Colin was perfect! Why did he have to go?  And I guess that is our answer.  He is perfect so he had to go.

Erika's daughter Morgan and sweet baby Colin

My siblings amaze me.  All of us, at least those of us who have families of our own, have gone through some hard things.  I guess that because I am the oldest, that I always think of my little brothers and sisters as still little.  But they are incredible people!  They have such strong testimonies of the gospel.  They love our Savior and they are so resilient, kind, loving, faithful, generous, amazing people!  They are a great example to me of how to be a good parent.  They have shown me how to pick myself up and keep going even when things are hard.  They have taught me how to have a strong relationship with my husband. They have shown me how to work hard and complain less.  I could go on and on.  There is no doubt that the family is an eternal principle.  We learn and grow so much from our experiences in a family.  We learn in sorrow and heartache, and we learn in joy and happiness.  I am so very grateful for such a wonderful family.  I am so blessed.